Advice , Other

This is a letter to you.

I'm not going to say your name because if you read this i am confident you will know that it's you i'm talking about, and if you don't then i guess i know even less about who you are than i already thought. The month since you left has felt like an eternity and has changed me into someone that i never wanted to be: It's made me angrier, more regretful, less hopeful and maybe just a little bit wiser. Please understand that i'm not blaming you for any of this, in fact, i understand that it is completely my own fault because i didn't tell you just how much you meant to me before you left. I understand that had i asked you out before you left i could've had exactly what i wanted and still want.

The part that bothers me the most is this: On the day that you left i finally told you how i felt about you and your reaction was great, it made me have hope for the future because you told me that not only had i made you as happy as you've ever been, you said that you wanted to keep in touch with me which made me extraordinarily happy, but when i tried to talk to you after you left you seemed like you didn't want to talk to me and that hit me pretty hard. It took me way too long to finally understand that i shouldn't have to always make the first move, if you wanted me in your life you should have put me there because i was already breaking and i didn't have the strength to fight for a spot anymore. The truth is, i'm still not over you and i don't know if i ever fully will be, but it's just not healthy for me to keep tearing myself apart for you when you make me feel like you don't give a damn about me. The reason that i haven't moved on yet is because somewhere deep down inside, despite everything telling me otherwise, i have hope. So, listen I have no idea what the future has in store for you or for me and you know what? That's okay. That's exciting. Maybe we'll meet again someday when we can make it work but until that time comes i have to continue living with the regret of never trying to give you the love i know that you deserve.

Ultimately, until the future becomes the present i am going to have to run, for as long as i can and harder than I've ever run. That being said, i won't be running FROM anything, I am going to run TO everything before it withers and fades. From this day forward i am going to run directly at life, at love, at friendship, at opportunities because that is exactly what i failed to do with you and a mistake repeated more than once is a decision.

Hopefully i get to show this to you someday.

-Brady J.

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Other, Advice

Today was a sad day. Today I said goodbye to two of the most amazing people that I've ever met. Kathrine and Chanel, two foreign exchange students from Norway and and Sweden who, a year ago, I didn't know existed but they have managed to make a bigger impression on my life in 10 months than most people do in a lifetime. It breaks my heart say goodbye to these amazing people because it means that i may not ever see them again but it also makes me smile because I know that we are all going to move on with our lives and we will always have the memories of our amazing times together.

Do you know what the worst part is? It never really hits you that you're never going to see someone again until they are already gone. There are so many things that i wish i would've told them, so many things i never did either because i was afraid or because i thought that I had all the time in the world when in reality, I didn't. This experience taught me a lot of things, but the one that stands out the most is this: Don't wait for life to happen to you, if you want to go somewhere, go. If you want to stay in touch with someone, ask. If you think someone is amazing, tell them. And for the love of God if you love somebody, please, please tell them because sometimes later, becomes never and being rejected is so much better than regretting never speaking up for the rest of your life.

Everything ends, and that's always sad but everything begins again too, and that is always happy.

Miss you both already.

-Brady J.

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High School

So today started off like any other day would have, I woke up at 6:45: took a shower, got dressed, drank my breakfast (coffee) and drove myself to school for the second to last time this year. I walked into my first class, Psychology, and prepared myself to take the final, which I managed to complete in a surprisingly short amount of time (not sure if that is good or bad). Not moments after handing my completed test to the teacher something unexpected happens - the fire alarm goes off - now, anyone with any sense of how the school system works knows that the school would never conduct a fire drill on a day like finals day. Me and my classmates, and my teacher, sit there looking rather confused because not only was there no drill scheduled but it was also pouring rain outside.

Nevertheless we end up getting herded outside, and into the pouring rain, by the administration who says we will have to remain outside until they figure out what - or who - triggered the alarm. Over the course of about twenty minutes me and Christian (my best friend) run around the building looking for something to take shelter under (apparently people don't realize that running really fast and shrieking constantly doesn't make you any less wet). By the time we find a place to hide the faculty says that it's okay for us to come inside now (go figure).

The picture above is a picture I took only moments after getting back to the classroom and as you can see I am completely soaked. So I spent the rest of my day soaking wet because my clothes refused to dry. If this story doesn't embody finals week in a nutshell, I don't know what does.

- Brady J.

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Other

Hello, my name is Brady. I'm a 17-year-old high school senior and I would like to start of by saying something that i never thought i would say: Welcome to my blog!

In this blog i am going to tell you all about my life and my adventures! Anything and everything noteworthy that happens in my life is going to be written down in this blog. I apologize in advance if i rant sometimes about things that i'm opinionated about. Here's to many, many more posts about me trying to live my life to the fullest!

- Brady J.

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