This is a letter to you.
I'm not going to say your name because if you read this i am confident you will know that it's you i'm talking about, and if you don't then i guess i know even less about who you are than i already thought. The month since you left has felt like an eternity and has changed me into someone that i never wanted to be: It's made me angrier, more regretful, less hopeful and maybe just a little bit wiser. Please understand that i'm not blaming you for any of this, in fact, i understand that it is completely my own fault because i didn't tell you just how much you meant to me before you left. I understand that had i asked you out before you left i could've had exactly what i wanted and still want.
The part that bothers me the most is this: On the day that you left i finally told you how i felt about you and your reaction was great, it made me have hope for the future because you told me that not only had i made you as happy as you've ever been, you said that you wanted to keep in touch with me which made me extraordinarily happy, but when i tried to talk to you after you left you seemed like you didn't want to talk to me and that hit me pretty hard. It took me way too long to finally understand that i shouldn't have to always make the first move, if you wanted me in your life you should have put me there because i was already breaking and i didn't have the strength to fight for a spot anymore. The truth is, i'm still not over you and i don't know if i ever fully will be, but it's just not healthy for me to keep tearing myself apart for you when you make me feel like you don't give a damn about me. The reason that i haven't moved on yet is because somewhere deep down inside, despite everything telling me otherwise, i have hope. So, listen I have no idea what the future has in store for you or for me and you know what? That's okay. That's exciting. Maybe we'll meet again someday when we can make it work but until that time comes i have to continue living with the regret of never trying to give you the love i know that you deserve.
Ultimately, until the future becomes the present i am going to have to run, for as long as i can and harder than I've ever run. That being said, i won't be running FROM anything, I am going to run TO everything before it withers and fades. From this day forward i am going to run directly at life, at love, at friendship, at opportunities because that is exactly what i failed to do with you and a mistake repeated more than once is a decision.
Hopefully i get to show this to you someday.