Fashion, lifestyle, art & beauty

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Love shouldn't be about how much money he/she spends on you, or how much money they have. Love should be about treating each other with respect, and having fun and enjoying each other.

Who the fuck cares if you have stretch marks on your body, and if anyone do care and give you shit about it, to hell with them, cause you're beautiful no matter what. If he/she hates them, dump their sorry ass, and get over it, and love yourself unconditionally, cause in the end nobody will ever love you as much as you love yourself, at least you should.

No matter what, do what makes YOU happy, and burn the people who hate on your decisions.

If your life doesn't make you happy, get the fuck up and do something about it, cause nobody else will.

Stop letting other people put you down, you deserve so much better.

Never stop fighting for what you want, its worth it no matter what, always.

  • Sorry about the late night rant, I just thought everyone should know :)

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Trigger warning

Sooo everybody, I´ve struggled for a long time, I´ve struggled with a lot of different things, such as depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, cutting etc. But for this post I just wanna spread awareness about one special thing, at least it is to me. Eating disorder.

I have struggled with an eating disorder since my early teens. I thought I was so fat, even though I've never been overweight. I felt like everybody was judging me, I didn't feel beautiful or loved. It was very hard for me to feel so different from everybody else. I guess you could say my eating disorder first really took off after a sexual assault that happened to me in the city when I was 14, that is now two years ago. I started losing weight, not even by choice, I got horrible migraines constantly. I couldn't eat, so I lost a lot of weight. After a while my family started noticing and saying wow you´ve become so skinny etc. and my friends said so too, deep down I knew they didn't mean it in a positive way, but I loved the comments, so I started throwing up after every meal, trying to eat as little as I possibly could. I started loosing a LOT of hair, I felt sick constantly, but the fear of getting caught in the act of throwing up also made me feel alive somehow. I am not here to promote eating disorders, I´d rather spread awareness about the illness itself.

Eating disorders kill.

So I started taking vitamins to help with my hair, with didn't help at all, because I still wasn't getting the nutrition that I needed. I also couldn't sleep at night, I slept four hours at best SOME nights. The nights were the worst, they still are, but with time is becomes easier.

Before my eating disorder started i weighed 53 kg. which is a healthy weight for a girl my age and height ( I was 165 cm. still am btw ) so I went from 53 kg. to 41 kg. it may not sound like a severe eating disorder for some of you, but no matter how bad it is, it is something that you need to “fix” immediately. All through my disorder I knew it was wrong what I was doing, but I was certain I could control it, but it is hard once you are in it, because somehow you get addicted. I loved feeling my ribs stick out, I loved you could feel the bones sticking out in most of my body, it was something I would brag about. But one day I got stuck up with people saying negative things about my body, I would get body shamed all the time, and I still do even though I´ve gained four kg.

At one point I had a boyfriend and he would drag me all day about how thin I was, and he would hate on self harm scars. So I started working out for him. I didn't start eating more or stop throwing up, I just wanted to build myself up for him. But working out or doing anything else for someone else is never going to work unless you do it for yourself.

I started going to therapy which did not help at all, because I wouldn't listen. This was something I had to figure out for myself, and I did after a long time, a lot of effort. I realised I needed to get healthy for me not someone else, so I dumped his sorry ass, and got in shape for ME and noone else. I wish I could say I don´t ever get disappointed when I look at myself in the mirror, because I do sometimes, but with time I am proud to say the days where that happens get fewer and fewer. I am proud to say today that i would proudly walk down on the beach in my small bikini and show everyone my battlescars. Even though I can't say that everyday, I CAN say that I am proud to be me, and I am truly happen. I know one day I can truly say I am free of any disorder, and I know that day will be soon. I wanna say to those few reading that anyone can overcome the pressure of society. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and I would be happy to help anyone through it. I know it's tough, but you can be happy, if you decide to be!



Art, beauty, Fashion, Lifestyle

I want this blog to be for everybody! I want every genders, races, ages just everybody to feel welcome. I want to share my fashion goals, ideas and I want to tell my stories and experiences, to help other people who may have gone through the same stuff, or are going through it right now. I’d like to think my life is my blank canvas, and I can and will do as I want with it, and so can everyone else. I believe in love not war, and I want to spread awareness about certain subjects. I hope you’ll enjoy reading my blog!

I will be blogging about fashion, lifestyle, art & beauty.