alhamdulillah, i got in to matriculation to further my tertiary study. at first, i was really excited and i looked forward of my life in matrix. i was really happy at first, of how my way of study will be change after enter matriculations . but after a week . i started to feel homesick. i miss my mom, my bed, homemade food, everything from my home. kind of surprise actually. considering that i am the only daughter who was independent. maybe, it is just culture shock or maybe i just had a little panic attack.

at that time, i feel afraid- how i am gonna survive a whole ten months in here? without my mom, without the environment i longing for. i had a misconception. i thought tertiary education is beautiful, perfect, the thing that i always dream of my life. i was totally wrong. life in tertiary education, in matrix is just stressful, despondent, unmanageable, hectic, exhausted. the only time that i can inhale and exhale freely is when night come.

but, slowly, i try to be positive in my current life. i try using my life principle again. enjoy the things that you do right now, appreciate them before time slowly take them. i reflect everything that bring me here, in matrix. why am i here? what i want to achieve in my life?

of course, im here because i want to. i want to make my family proud. i want to get 4.0 cgpa. i want to be a pharmacist. i want to study like adults. i want to handle stress by my own self.

being in matriculation also taught me to appreciate everyone in your life. i learn to appreciate my family, who always support me silently. my mom , who nearly do everything for me. i am here because of them, because i wan to show them i can be much more independent.

till next time.

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