"Follow your dreams, no dreams are too big... but don't dream tooooo big, it's not good for you!"
"You can be whoever you want... but don't try too hard because that makes you fake."
"If you try hard enough you can get whatever you want in life... but be realistic!"

Does this sound familiar?

I remember when I was 13 years old & for the first time had the feeling that I wanted to inspire people. I wanted to give people hope & show them that even a person like myself can build a career.
This goal never disappeared. It has faded a bit though... or a lot! But not because I still don't dream about it.

But how am I supposed to inspire others when I can't even inspire myself?
I barely sing anymore, I haven't touched my guitar in 5 years, the only time I touch my piano is around Christmas & when I'm dusting it.
I don't design clothes anymore & I've stopped taking photos because almost everyone I know gets annoyed by it.
I've even stopped buying clothes because who the h*ll has the money for that? And of course, I can't write or blog as much anymore because what is there to write about when nothing in my life inspires me?

So instead, I'm sitting here as an unfulfilled 24-year-old girl, desperately trying to fit in & be a part of a society that I was born & raised in, but without results.
Somewhere along the way I've completely lost myself & my entire personality.

People keep talking about how we are living in a time that is built for creative minds, that this is THE time to be whoever you are or whoever you want to be & that Sweden is the best place to be because everyone here is so open minded. Well, apparently not since the majority of all artsy people I know are either working in customer service or are burnt out because they tried so hard to do something with their lives but kept on getting rejected.

I threw away my dream of doing something inspiring & creative with my life because I needed to be "realistic". I needed to leave space in my life for all those things that I don't love, but that I apparently need to build a future, because as I always got told in school "If you take all that time you're spending on crafting & spend it on mathematics, then you’d get trough it in a heartbeat".
But what difference does it make when I seem to be the only one willing to give myself a chance?

In my experience you're allowed to stand out, as long as you're standing out in the same way as everybody else.

So welcome to Sweden everyone, the country where everyone can be whoever they want & get a new start in life. As long as you have the right looks, the right name, the right amount of money (and no, an average salary doesn't count) or savings from your family, and as long as you follow our boring Swedish norm! If you belong under at least 2 out of these 5 "categories" then congrats! You might actually have a chance!

/A bitter girl who probably needs help figuring out her next step in life.



- Having found and booked the most beautiful place for our wedding day. It's a home for trees and plants during the wintertime and is super cosy to stroll around among!

- Welcoming 2017 with the family <3

- And have experienced the first month as a fiancee!



I going to share with you the top 3 things that are on my wishlist at the moment, & when I say a wishlist, I mean the top 3 things that I will buy on my own after saving up some money after all Christmas chaos, haha.

I think it's really fun to see what other people have on their wish lists before Christmas, even though I do not personally write someone to my family. So this is not a wishlist that I will send to my family before Christmas. The things I want I buy with my own money (;

Having said that, I have a very low income, which means that when I want something, I have to save money for quite some time, which is why I write a wishlist for myself.

So, here comes my top 3:

1. Olympus PEN PL8.

I have used the same camera since 2010 & I have to start confessing to myself that it's time to invest in a new one!
Even though I love my camera, I swear at it a bit too often. Not because the camera doesn't work properly, it just has not developed at the same rate as I've developed. Why hasn't anyone told me that cameras just get older but not wiser? :OI have looked at all different kinds of cameras and I never thought I would decide on a compact camera!

After reading the reviews on this camera, a black one of these has gotten at the top of the wishlist!

I want to replace 90% of my wardrobe next year, but I just want to replace them with clothes that I designed myself!I want to invest in lots of new nice fabrics & sew as if there is no tomorrow!

3. Rings
Those of you who have been around me for years know that I'm obsessed with rings. I want to collect a bunch of silver rings! But this time it will only buy rings that are in real silver & no shit that will rust after 15 minutes.