I finally feel it...the feeling of no emotions. I am depressed and can't shake it. I don't have a body like her, I'm not as pretty as her...I don't feel good about myself at all. I'm not as happy as I should be, everything is working out for me and these thoughts will destroy it all. I constantly see what's better out there and looking at myself knowing I won't be attractive like that again. Everyday is a struggle to even want to get ready, like what's the point I'm still going to look and feel nasty anyways. No matter what is said or done, I can't get rid of these unhappy thoughts. I'm too fucked up...no one ever sticks around to help an insecure girl like me because they get annoyed having to constantly repeat themselves and they give up. So I'm giving up first. I see no point in trying everyone else looks fantastic because they have money. Every penny I have goes to my son. Being a single mom is harder than it looks and I know that's not changing anytime soon. I'll be work two jobs in a couple weeks and it still won't be enough.
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