Ah yes, that moment when you start to think way too much about your future.

Thinking about the ups and downs, the right and wrong. Many people experience this at least once their life time, it can´t be helpt. And it sucks I know.

Anxiety is like that one friend, that always are the jerk. Telling you in ´why bother?`or ´is it worth the time?´. Yeah nobody likes that friend that pops ALL your positivty like soap bubbles, and yes you hate it(But let´s name anxiety Alex, or name your own kind of anxiety as long as it helps)

But the problem with some people is that as long as YOU don´t show it like you are holding a big sign and waving it they don´t care. If you don´t bleed to death it´s not important, and if you say it people asume you want attention like really? why do I want the attentionn when I rather be alone in my room and listen to my music so loud that the entire world will hear it. Telling people how you feel are hard sometimes, you don´t know how they will react, or if they even care. Why do you have to show you´re in pain? not everything shown. Only because I wake up every morning looking myself in the mirror and do my makeup doesn´t mean I´m fine. But putting on a fake smile every day, straightening my hair and putting on makeup made it easier then telling people how I really feel.

You just want to scream in rage or cry in saddness. But seriously why do this happened? Is it because I have a feeling I will fail too reach my goal? or is it the whole image how I want my future to be? Who knows! But despite all of this I still try to see something good in life, like many girls, boys and non- binary do. And it´s nothing wrong with that, in fact it´s good. Well for me at least, every time i look down on myself I always gets the urge to prove it wrong. Thats how I am

. And yes sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn´t work, but hey why give up when you want something so badly? How I planned my future is how I want it to be, no matter what I will at least try to suceed with my hopes and dreams for the future. Will it be hard sometimes? Of course! But that´s what makes life interesting after all. If I didn´t have my Alex how would I ever dare to try? how much i hate it I still need it, werid to say. I know. But I have a goal and I will try to suceed. 

thank you for reading and til next time boys, girl and non-binary pals bye!

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