Hi.. it's been a while I been spending time with this girl again like a lot .. almost everyday after work.. but I'm not the one who's calling .. she is.. and we just been hanging out .. go for coffee or some dinner... I'm really happy when I spend time with her .. but she is still with her boyfriend... but his not here in 🇸🇪.. I had sex with her last weekend like really fucking good sex ... for like 5 hours.. fuck the soul out of her.. and I know how this sounds .. she is not a good girlfriend if she cheating on her man .. I do agree.. that's why those feelings are gone .. i just like spending time with her .. and I treating her well .. like a gentleman do.. at the same time I'm really happy when I'm with this "bad girl" she makes me smile and laugh.. and we acting like we are in a complicated relationship.. in the case it really is ....
Do I feel sorry for her boyfriend?? Fuck no .. I don't like him anyways.. he's been a dick to her.. call her thinks that's would make any one of us feel bad about ourselves... anyways I just checking in... yours truly S ❤️

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This shit hit me hard..




It's not that I'm afraid I'm not enough for her
It's not that I can't find the words to say
But when she's with him, she seems happier
And I don't want to take that away

How many times can I see your face?
How many times will you walk away?
I just have to let you know

I'm not try'na start a fire, with this flame
But I'm worried that your heart might feel the same
And I have to be honest with you baby
Tell me If I'm wrong, and this is crazy
But I got you this rose
And I need to know
Will you let it die or let it grow?
Die or let it go?

It's not that I don't care about the love you have
It's not that I don't want to see you smile
But there's no way that he can feel the same
'Cause when I think of you my mind goes wild

How many times can I see your face?
How many times will you walk away?
I just have to let you know

I'm not try'na start a fire, with this flame
But I'm worried that your heart might feel the same
And I have to be honest with you baby
Tell me If I'm wrong, and this is crazy
But I got you this rose
And I need to know
Will you let it die or let it grow?

You can tell me to stop, if you already know
Though I'm not sure my heart can take it
But the look on your face says, don't let me go

I'm not try'na start a fire, with this flame
But I'm worried that your heart might feel the same
And I have to be honest with you baby
Tell me if I'm wrong, and this is crazy
But I got you this rose
And I need to know
Will you let it die or let it go?


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Wow I feel so much better after this session.. here some pictures I took on my way to the gym .. hehe 😂 and now some Indian food 🥘 yeees yours truly S

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This will be the last post about this girl.. I'm now realizing that I have to take care of my self.. before i can give love to someone else... just thinking about it.. scares me how do I learn to love my self ? Well firstly// I need to care about my wellness.. for example yesterday I went and got me a fitness membership at a fitness center "24/7".. for the first time in my life I did it .. I must say I'm pretty proud bout this 💯💪🏽.. it only took me 10 years to get it .. 😂😂

Maybe I was lying to you guys ... about this last post of her... I don't know only time can tell..

Here a picture of me and her.. I erased her face for the sake of her privacy.. I will never reviled her identity.. we have so many memories together.. and over 3000 pictures together.. we been on a trip together... we had plan so many things... and I will follow the plans by my self.. that's why I doing this blogging shit...

I misses her everyday💔
I'm stuck... ⚓️
If anybody wanna help me with this 💔 feel free to write.. I could use some new friends.. only friends tho .. I'm not ready for a new fling yet ..

So have great day y'all now I'm off to the gym 😘💪🏽🔥 yours truly S.

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Soo yesterday I went and saw her .. I mean it was fine .. we talked about everything... we still friends. That's the hard part... being friends when i just wanna hold her.. I know you guys think that this is pretty stupid.. but every time I see her it's getting little bit easier to except.. but I love to see her smile ... she got this smile that bright the whole room her face just lights up 😍 and her laugh it just too cute .. she is too cute.. oh fuck I'm still in love with this girl... that's the weird part .. she say that we can't hangout cuz she back with that other guy.. but still some days she wanna meet up and talk ? and I so stupid every time she calls or texts I rush to answer.. btw I'm pretty good looking guy.. it's not that I can't find or meet others it's just... well as you can see I'm stuck here .. but I know It's get better and easier and this feels good too, to write down some of my thoughts even tho nobody reading it.. yours truly S

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Hi guys !

You can all me "S". I would like to share my thoughts and feelings with you guys... let me make this clear I'm heartbroken...💔💔 but not cuz a bad breakup.. simply cuz I'm in love with a girl that's with another man ... In this case her "ex"
I mean I'm happy for her ?? Is that sick ? Or am I just dumb ? I don't know .. oh I forgot .. she was my girlfriend also .. but I guess you guys knew that already ? I just don't know what to do or how to deal with this .. I know that I should let go but it's not that easy .. this girl really makes me feel some type of way... like you guys know butterflies in your stomach or when u get nervous and your whole body gets cozy warm feeling... like puppy love .. 😍😂🤔 oh btw I'm not some teenager... I'm in my 30's......Its sad .. Its nobody's fault.. oh well maybe myself to blame.. probably.... well my time is up and I will try to keep updating this blog... yours truly...S

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