Helle everyone, how are you today?

I'm not doing too well right now..

Over these past few weeks that has been my summerbreak, I've been thinking a lot, maybe a bit too much.. I've been thinking about my future and how to manage and survive.. Which sounds a bit wierd, but you'll get what I mean.

Where I want to be in a few years is easy to say, it's a place because that's all I can think of when someone asks me that question.

England has always been my dream country to live in, ever since I was little. I've thought about other places aswell where I might want to live and have a future but I always tell myselft to go for my first "choice", "dream" or "goal" - whatever you want to call it - because for some reason that was my first thought and since it was it must be the best choice(england definitely seems like it, as it feels like home when I'm there), I feel. But this dream or goal can be quite hard to achieve when you have something standing in your way that takes most of your energy..

My something is anxiety.. Last year I had a lot of anxiety, I panicked on the bus, in school, I stayed home a lot because my anxiety (and depression) caused a lot of trouble and prevented me from doing most things. Thinking about it now during summer when I've barely done anything else but stay insinde my house it only made things worse. I have had a lot of trouble going outside, I hung out with friends twice and both times at festivals.. I wish I would've tried to hang out more with them but they all worked most of the summer, as teens seem to do these days.

Me and my family went to Stockholm for a few days. Usually when I go away with my parents it's fine, I feel safe around them and it's way easier to be around them rather than my friends. This time though I did panick, I had a hard time leaving the hotelroom and when we were walking about I often felt trapped and couldn't breath. One of the times when it got worse were when we were walking around in "Gamla Stan" (old town). Narrow streets with tons of people! I don't really know why I couldn't handle the trip with my parents but my anxiety must've gotten worse..

So here I am today, two days before school start, axious about what's to come. I think about are the bus rides, those are always worse. The assignments that we're going to get and how they are probably going to much harder now that I'm a yeear older.. Though I'm probably overreacting.

Since I'm on the musical program we're doing a musical this year aswell, and hopefully I'm just overthinking my anxiety and this years performance will be better. But I'm really nervouse and my teachers will be expecting more this year. Last year was a mess.. I had about 4 lines, which to me was really frightening. I don't do to well with speaking infront of a lot of people.. Infront of anyone to be honest.

I'm scared that my anxiety won't get any better and that I will always have a hard time travelling and doing other things amongst people.. To England it's only a two hour flight, which is fine because I tend to fall alseep on planes. But the carride to and from te airport is the worst part. Well, the wait in the airport isn't something I prefer either.. but, some things you just have to do, right?

As a first "job" I've always dreamt of going to England to work as an au pair, and I still plan on going. I know what agency I want to go with and when I plan on going. So untill then I've got quite some work to do.. I just don't want to not do it! I have to do it for my 10 yeard old self!

Have you ever felt like that? If you have, how do you manage a situation like that? Any special tricks?

I've only got one trick, which doesn't always get me that far but, music! I listen to music constantly!

Love A

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Hello everyone!

I am currently home from school due to being a girl and having massive cramps. Since I'm home and kind of are capable of doing things I figured I'd share 10 of the things that I do on boring days!

1. Make a breakfast that takes a little more time to do rather than a normal school-day breakfast. So I'd make pancakes, with berries and fruit or I'd just chop fruit and toast some bread, and add various of other breakfasty things that are in my fridge/cupboard.

2. Catch up on tv shows are always a must! Today I started watching Shameless and I'm hooked!

3. Turn on the radio and do what ever you were doing to that. I am one of those to really listen to what they're talking about!

4. Clean my room or anything else that's mine and needs cleaning. I am a very messy person, though I have actually started cleaning my room more often now, but my room is most of the time a hot mess. So, whenever I'm home I do a bit of cleaning.

5. I love doing my makeup and taking my time doing it, so I always end up doing my makeup to the radio or one of my playlists on spotify, singing along as I try out a new look or just plainly put on what I normally would.

6. For lunch I often also try to make something more fun to eat, rather than microwaving whatever we had yesterday.

7. I sometimes go out for a walk, charge my phone so that I can take photos of the nature outside. I don't always bring headphones, cause the sound of birds chirping, to me, is really soothing.

8. Read a book! This might be something that some people may think less of cause they don't like reading, but I love reading. I am currently reading if I stay by Gayle Forman.

9. Make a list of things I want to do, a bucket list. Or you can make a list of things you want to do on your holiday, or you might be going away on a trip soon and need a list of things to do there or to bring there! Basically, you can make a list for anything.

10. Homework, or anything else I might need to do for school. Like today, I have to study math and finish writing my essay for my Swedish class.

I hope any of these tips were good enough and I wish you a nice day!

Love, Alma



Hello everyone, how are you doing?

I am pretty well, I just got back from a long walk alongside the river in my hometown. The weather outside is actually quite warm and not too windy. As per usual when I'm out for a walk I took a couple of photos, and as always they turn out the same, since the weather nor my walk changes that much.

My weekend on the other hand hasn't been that much fun, on friday night I fell asleep the minute my head tuched the pillow on our couch. We had been working out about two hours before that, an "indoor walking" class at the gym. So instead of watching the first episode of Swedish Dancing With the Stars as I had planned I slept though most of the night..

Saturday I woke up early, first blog post and straight after that I went with my mum to the grocerystore and I managed to get a new shampoo and conditioner, the hydrate me wash and rinse by Kevin Murphy. After that all of my family went to my brothers ice-hockey compound to work in the cafeteria. Me and my mom were the ones who worked, I instead of my dad. Our shift started at 4pm and ended 8.30pm, we got home around 9.pm so there was nothing left of that day either. Working there is alright, nothing I prefer but it's definitely worth the money, eventhough it's not that much.

On sunday, yesterday, I woke up really early, as in 7am early. I was pretty much wrecked yesterday due to the kind of hectic day before plus the workouts that I did last week, I studied a bit and then later in the afternoon we went for another class at the gym.

Monday started off as usual, rehearsing the upcoming musical, we're doing The hunchback of Notre Dame. It is going fantastic, I was a bit bummed in the beginning cause it wasn't what I wanted nor expected and I believed it wouldn't turn out good but now I am really happy about it. Since talking isn't my thing I got the best role possible as well, I'm a tavern guest!

How was your weekend?

What were you up to?

I hope you all had a great weekend and day today!

Love, Alma



Hello everyone and welcome to my blog.

My name is Alma, I am a 17 year old girl from Sweden. I am currently doing my first out of three years of gymnasiet and I'm on the musical program. The aesthetic classes I have are; choir, "music teaching", danc and theatre. Other than that, math, english, swedish and history are mandatory.

My homesituation is as normal as possible, I live with both my parents and my little brother. Unfortunatley we don't have a pet, though since we live in Sweden and we have quite bad weather at times I think we're pretty forutnate at those times without a pet.

So, for my interests I think I've kind of covered the music part, though favorite bands? My all time favorite band is AC/DC! They're absolutely amazing!? Then, 5 seconds of summer are to me one of the most important bands, cause I have my absolute best friends thanks to them.

Other than that, Nirvana and Lana Del Rey are big insperations. I listen to a few song of The Wombats, The Offspring and my favorite song right now is Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners.

I grew up with two parents who absolutely loved music and I was more or less bound to love it just as much. I can remember my parents always listening to either Queen or AC/DC. So, I'm grown up surounded by different rock genres, my mother is the punk rocker (plus a lot of amy winehouse) and my dad loves rock "n" roll, to define my parents by one song each my fathers's Layla by Eric Clapton and my mother's probably Back to Black by Amy Winehouse, or any other song of hers.

Dancing did play a big part in my life a few years ago. I started dancing when I was 4 at Dansstudion, where I live. I stopped dancing when I was 12, for some reason I can't remember. But when I was at it, it was my favorite thing to do and I couldn't imagine not dancing. I once saw the dance group Bounce's last show and was cempletely blown away by it and ever since that I wanted to be just like them. Now, that dream has faded, though I can still watch the show all over again and be just as blown away as the first time I saw it.

So, this was a bit about my. This blog will be like a journal, posts will contain of either emotions, opinions or just updates of my day and my life. 

I hope that you, whoever reads this, will enjoy. 

Love, Alma