the demons they are there and keeps on fighting


To the ones that are still checking my blog from time to time. I have been really down , and was in a psychiatric ward for several weeks. Total 12 weeks , so long that our house changed the smell , I felt like I didnt belong there anymore. Horrible feeling I tell you.

I havent been in SL much either , very strange because I used to be online Alot when I am down. But I guess I was to far gone. It was lots of self harm , and overdosed on painkillers.

I got diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome) and Borderline....and on top of that me being Bipolar. It is lots lots for me to process


Maybe I am getting better now. I hope so so keep the faith ok I will start blogging again. At least now you know why I havent updated here and why I haven been online

Move your blog to Nouw - now you can import your old blog - Click here

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....moving closer, but can't seem to find my way to you
I'm still trying to



It is crazy how tired I have been lately , and I sleep but I dont feel rested in the morning. I get frustrated.


In SL people are giving me shit because I went back to Fallen. Bur Fallen ones is our home and the only place I feel safe. So please just leave me alone , those that have nothing nice to say about my family , just shut your piehole. FAMILY , they stood by me thru everything , even when I left.

I got some answers about that too , why I make all these irrationell choices. Why I cant seem to focus , feeling so depressed I somedays dont wanna live anymore. I get manic and become super mom...and super wife! Then I crash and I cant get in the shower or even call a friend

I got diagnosed BIPOLAR type 2


Reaper , my love and soulmate. Thank you for always sticking by me , you are the light in my darkness ♥





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With every breath a new day
With love on the line
We've had our share of mistakes
But all your flaws and scars are mine



Yesterday we spent a few hours at the most amazing beach. The sun even set and the day turned into night before we left.

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.....Let's find a place by the fire , sometimes I feel strange as it seems
you've been in my dreams all my life
It's a crazy world out there , let's hope our prayers are in good hands tonight


The love for the people in the family we joined became the reason we left. We are still friends and I adore them.


I am so lucky to have my amazing Man. He always stands by me...never questions...He just wants me happy


All pictures are made by me

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They ask me all these questions Give me these lectures It's gettin' old

So many suggestions On my direction Where I should go



Been quiet here I know , 2016 was a rough year. So much happend to me in RL , and that had its effect on my SL. I drifted apart from my closest one in world.

So many times I got sad just opening Facebook seeing everything I was missing , ..and being kinda jealous. That went on for months and months. And I became so unhappy.

We decided to moven on from our amazing clan family Fallen Ones. We stayed in curse for about 6 months. We didnt spend much time in world...and I was finding myself again.

Logging on to Facebook didnt make me sad anymore. , it made me happy. I have everything in RL...EVERYTHING.


But just now , a few days ago we moved on , we joined a new family and so far we are enjoying it. I am looking forward to this new start


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....I´ve come to talk with you again , because a vision softly creeping , and the vision that was planted in my brain still remains within the sound of silence



Silence is the best word to explain my absense ...and now , I am trying to get back to my old self and just maybe I will be able to blog a bit.

I am in a very calm place in my SL life at the moment. Of course there are ups and downs. Friends drift apart and others come closer.

I dont love anyone any less , but my love for others grow. Some people you just have that connection with.


And my Reaper , my amazing husband , that sometimes is so bitter that I want to strangle him , but , He loves me broken , and I love him bitter. The Ying to my Yang , the sun to my moon

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And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off




There are those days when I miss her , like REALLY miss her

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....and I´ll try to hold my head up high


So.....those who know me must have noticed I have been on a downspiral lately. And yes , it´s been bad , and since I dont have any medication left I self medicate the only way I know how. Just once tho , and just a tiny little bit...because it takes the edge off and calms me. Feels like I´m on the outside of a glass house , looking in on those who are inside....and I want to speak but the glass is soundproof so no one hears me.


It´s hard for me to reach out so I get quiet...but that dont mean I love you any less


luffs

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...I wanna dance with my baby


I had my first DJ set at The Church last night. I was so nervous but I think it went ok. I had so much fun even tho I was so focused on SAM and to get things right.

I feels good to get more involved in the family and helping out where I can


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...and tomorrow was to late


It´s been quiet I know but I havent really felt inspired.

“There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore,
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.”

I didnt think that saying would ever have any meaning for me , it was something everyone else said....but. I reached that point in my life too.

I dont choose sides and try my best to be neutral. But I will never turn my back on my own feelings and about the love I feel for people. And if there are those that walk away , it is their loss.

I am a Fallen one from head to toe and I will forever be loyal to my family. I spend time with those I love and I am having so much fun.

Tomorrow I will do my first DJ set at The Church...omg , I am so nervous , I hope not too many people will show up *lol*

Today is mothers day in Sweden and I am so lucky that I have my family. My 2 oldest made me breakfast in bed , they had made me beautiful cards and drawings. I hope you all are enjoying your Sunday...tomorrow is a whole new week and I hope summer will find its way to the northern part of our country

Come here summer...I am ready for you...BRING IT *ooooot*

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