me, thoughts, travel

I've been gone for a while and that's fine to, you can't always be on top of everything, the best excuses I have are that life got in between and that I've been traveling. This time me and my family + best friend went to England for one week to explore Cambridge and London. My parents were working so it was just me and my bestie walking around in the cities wich was awesome since it felt cool to be in a different country "on your own". It was honestly one of the better trips I've made because of the shopping, the food, the culture, the beautiful old towns in Cambridge and all the times we laughed until we couldn't breathe. I truly loved it.

But now I'm home and reality has caught up and Monday morning at 8am I started my last working-week. Little rough due to no rest at all but I have the best job that I could possibly wish for so it's okay. Okay because sailing is my passion, I'm working with teaching kids how to sail, I'm working with my friends, I'm working outside on the sea and my job is right where I live. Even though working is hard, it's nice to have my thoughts on something else than school since school starts in only one week and of course I'm having anxiety about it. Here in Sweden, gymnasium is such a big step into adult life and it terrifies me.

So I realised that you don't know much about what I'm doing day to day so I thought I would tell you a little bit about that. I go to school and after school I go to either sailing practise or dance class. Then I go home to do homework and/or wright assignments. And weekends I sail and hangout with friends. And that's about it! Here and there I travel or do something special but that's my weekdays. I also read, write and listen to music quite a lot. Not that much but enough for me.

I've been thinking about writing something longer but haven't yet decided what it's going to be about. Any suggestions? 

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thoughts, pictures

Friday the 29:th of July the international tiger day occurred. The day is created by the organisation WWF which stands for World Wildlife Foundation. They stand for animals rights and help animals in danger all around the world. Tigers are one of the most endangered animals living and today there are less than 5000 left on earth. But even though we know that, illegal hunters still kill tigers because of the money that their fur is worth. Tourist and rich people buy their fur as souvenirs.

As a vegetarian and a believer in animals rights, I want this to change and for people to get to know what is actually happening in the world. I want to spread this message and thought to everyone of you reading this. This is inhuman and disgusting. Why would their lives be worth less than their furs?

I wanted to show people that I support this organisation. On Instagram a hashtag was spreading and trending and I jumped on the bandwagon. You were supposed to paint your thumbs orange and make black stripes, then hold up your thumps in a picture and hashtag #thumbsupfortigers

Which I did and even WFF's own page likes my photo!
I' m so happy that I showed everyone what I'm passionate about and that I got sush good responses!

Get on the hashtag yourself! Here's my pictures with my good friend Cornelia!



me, pictures

breathe in then breathe out, hear the sound of nothing except birds, see long winding roads 




Take a look at yourself and the stories you tell,

does the truth weigh on your mind? - Disclosure

                 Are you lost or incomplete?

Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?

                           - Coldplay

Swallow nostalgia, chase it with lime

Better than dwelling and chasing time

-Troye Sivan              

I wish I could paint our love

these moments in vibrant hues - Miguel           

Since you've gone, I've been lost without a trace

I dream at night, I can only see your face

I look around but it's you I can't replace

                 - The Police

I don't mind if there's not much to say

Sometimes the silence guides your mind - The Neighbourhood 

You're the sun that I crave

You're the first light of the day 

- Kygo ft Rhodes   

Just because I'm losing doesn't mean I'm lost - Coldplay

We want no part of your shallow dream
Oh honey, we are, we are survivors
Our kind don't follow the stream - XOV

Life has taught ​me two things

Tie your own shoestrings, sometimes we go through things 

- Daniel Adams Ray



me, thoughts

There's not many things in life that I'm scared of except of flying, that scares the shit out of me, but one thing that I really do fear is being ordinary or the same as everyone else. I don't know if it is common to feel this way but lately I've been thinking about it a lot and I always caught myself feeling so small and worthless even though I know I'm not. I honestly don't know why being "ordinary" would make a person less worth because that's bullshit. And how do I even know what's ordinary when every person is unique? With ordinary I mean someone who's wearing the clothes that are trendy, listens to the popular songs, have the same opinions as his/her friends about everything because the person don't dare to say what the person thinks in case someone would think you're a freak and mainly don't dare to be different. There's no one there to point out ; you're ordinary and you're not.

I can't say that I'm a person who stands out in the crowd but I wish I were because I want people to remember me and to know who I am. I know that I have friends and family that will always remember me but right now I'm thinking about people you meet in town or at school. Let's just be real and say that everyone's judging everyone and when someone sees me I don't what them to think that I look or seem "like everyone else". I don't know what I want people to think about me but certainly not that. And I know that it's hard to be different in a world with 7,4 billion people but I can at least try to be myself and let people see what I love to wear and not what's popular to wear.

I want to wear what I want to wear, I want to say what I want to say, I want to do what I want to do. I wont do anything because someone tells me to do ( except if my teachers gives me homework, common i wanna pass my exams) and only do what I feel what's right. And it feels like that time has finally come because in less than three weeks I start what's called the gymnasium in Sweden and I chose a school that is known for having students with many different personalities and styles which I look forward to so much! 

For me it's been hard to stand out because I've never known where I belong or what styles I like but during the summer break I think I found myself in both clothing style and future goals and everything in between. 

A quote I heard some years ago has been stuck on my mind for a very long time. Remember this quote.

Tetris taught me that if you fit in you will disappear




My hobby isn't quite well-known and now I will try to describe to you how much I love what I do.

When the deep blue waves curls around the boat and makes it vibrate so that I can feel it in my bones. When the water hurries into the next wave and sound like silk. When the sun is alone in the sky and it's rays hits the water and then reflects to my face, I can feel the warmth and see the colours around me become brighter than before. When the wind whistles in my ears and makes my hair all tangled up. When the rain hits my rain jacket and I can hear the sound from every raindrop. When I hear the thunder far away and get this lump in my throat because I know it's dangerous. That's when I love it the most.

When I see the sails cutting perfectly through the wind due to my skills. When the wind is extremely rough and something goes wrong, I still know that I can handle the situation. When I learn something new and it goes really well. When I can handle the boat on my own. When I see what I can accomplish with just my hands. When I win a race. Thats when I feel the best.

When my friends and I are sailing together, helping each other, talking about everything, laughing. When we are working together as a team. When we are talking about future goals with our sailing. When we teach other kids how to sail. When we smile together because we enjoy this so much. That's when I'm happy.

It hasn't always been easy. All my friends on my sailing team has families that has taken their kids sailing their whole youth. They have grown up in boats. But no one in my family can sail, I'm completely on my own in this. Which is partly one of many reasons why I love It so much because there's no pressure from home. I love it because I leave my phone at home and don't text or hear from anyone for hours. After a day at school it is so relaxing to just be with yourself and do something so entraining as sailing. That's when I feel alive.

  • me



me, thoughts

"Books are boring". "Reading is such a waste of time". "Books are so unnecessary".

I particularly remember a special day about 2,5 years ago. The trailer to the new movie "Divergent" had just released on youtube and I thought it looked and sounded like bullshit because in my opinion it was exactly like "The hunger games". In some weird way I got interested and the day after seeing the trailer, me and my mom went to a bookshop and bought the book "Divergent" in my mother language and when I got home I sat down and read. Thee days later I finished the book. I was so hooked on the story and felt a feeling I've never felt before. I just couIdn't let go of the characters and how they made me feel. I had experienced an amazing story and no one had noticed. I had just gone through a rollercoaster of feelings and no one hadn't noticed. So unbelievable. Just escaping this world and diving in to a book is my biggest escape ever found. I knew that books were something for me after experiencing this. So I went back to the bookshop to buy another book. I don't exactly know what book I got but I think it was " The fault in our stars". Yet again I escaped and was completely captured. I wondered and still do wonder how only words can make me forget about everything and create a whole new world of people, emotions, places, problems etc. It's crazy how much I can relate to books and feel like the author has known me for years. How can just a piece of paper with typewriting make me cry or laugh? It is a mystery to me but some people do have that amazing skill to be able to write in that way and one day I honestly hope I will be able to too. I want to make people cry by just writing. And one day I will.

Ever since that special day I've tried to tell my friends about books and how much they are missing out on. How books will make you feel and relate. But the answers I always get is just " It's just such a waste of time" or " Books are so boring". And l just feel bad for them for how stupid they are. I get to experience so unbelievable things and they are missing out. It's almost unfair. But I don't mind. Because I've entered the world of books and I never want to leave. I love books. I love talking to people who love books. Especially my cousin. We always talk about books and how we feel when we read them and give tips to one another what to read next.

Books has honestly helped me. They are there when your own life is just to much to handle. They can cheer you up. And now after about 2,5 years of reading I notice that I've learned how to read faster and have also learned a crazy amount of new words and expressions. You also learn about people and that everyone reacts to things in different ways.

So if you are reading this and don't give an actual fuck about books, here is my last sayings for you : I know that it is hard to find the perfect book for you but just look up whats popular and give it a try. You don't want to miss this.




This happened about a year ago. Me and by brother were walking up and down the streets just talking about everything. It was cold outside so we both wore thick coats and gloves. The autumn had arrived to our city and made it darker than ever before. Here and there we met other people walking, gazing at us. Some others sat on benches talking about the solar eclipse that was taking place that evening. My family loves everything about space and scientific stuff, so we wouldn't miss this for the world. It felt good to be with my brother because he just moved out of the house to study at a university and we don't see each other that often. He is the best brother and I miss him at home sometimes but when we see each other it feels like no time has passed. He talks about the same girl he likes and his stupid friends he always brew beer with. However, we walked to a big plaza in our city because the local newspaper said it would be the best place to see the eclipse. 11.27 pm my phone said as I got ready with my camera to try to capture it for dad. There were some other people there, hiding in the shadows, trying to get a good look at the sky. I saw people walking and saw one specific shadow walking faster than the others towards another shadow. I poked my brother in the side and whisper to him to look at the fast shadow. Suddenly the fast shadow jumped on the other shadow, holding its mouth so the person wouldn't be able to scream. My brother who is brave, ran to the shadows without any thought and jumped on the fast one. My brother and the fast shadow, who looked like a man, were fighting and the shadow that got attacked was screaming because he/she was probably hurt. Someone had probably called the cops because the cops were there in seconds but when they came, the man had ran away. My brother was left with the mans knife at his feet watching the body on the ground. I just stood there. Paralysed. When the cops came my brother started to explain what had happened to them but they gave him a hard punch and pushed him agains the ground, they thought he did it. I screamed that it wasn't him and he was fighting their grips and explained again. But they didn't listen. He kicked one of the cops and screamed, "Let go of me, it wasn't me". Then my ears filled with a dull rumble. They shot him, right in front of me. How could two bodies be better than one?

What if I told you this story isn't mine. What if I told you that "my brother" was black. Was the gunshot necessary now that he's black? Did your empathy run away now that he's black? Did the cops do a favour to society now when they killed a black man? Did they have the rights to kill him because he's black? Did my brother become less worth now that he's black?

Although this story is made up, this happens to people. Black lives matter




Yesterday me and my mother went to a grocery store to buy food. We were on our way to my grandmas' and stopped in a small town near her house. In a town that small you would never believe that people actually manage to find it because it was literally in the middle of nowhere. I jumped out of the car and walked towards the doors to the grocery and noticed a man sitting outside to the right just by the door. He was about 25 years old and wore quite old clothes and sat on a big bag and had a big blanket around him. His eyes met mine and he said something I didn't understood so i just gave him a smile filled with compassion because I feel so sorry for him. But the thing is that I'm used to seeing beggars in the street in my country but I'll never get used to the guilt that I feel when I walk past them. I just walked past his tired hand holding an old cup towards me. Guilt rushed through me but I quickly tried to get over it because I need to remember what foods I were going to buy to ma. Mom and I finished our shopping and in the end I got a package of gum. Mint ofcourse. I had totally forgot about him and when I walked out of the doors he asked me for a gum since I walked past him holding the bag in my hand. A thing my uncle said a few months ago poped into my head. He told me never to give a beggar nothing else but money because they can get greedy. But he looked so desperate. My uncle is stupid I don't want to care to what he said but it is still stuck in my mind. I looked at mom and she gave me a disliking look, she thought it was a bad idea. So yet again, I walked past him, so disappointed at myself. I can't imagine how he felt when I gave him sight of my back and walked away. He is probably used to it but it is a thing you shouldn't get used to. I thought about him for the rest of the day and kept asking myself: why didn't I give him the fucking gum? Its not that I'm greedy, the thing is that I don't know how to act in that situation. Either I want to give him a hug and bring him home for a three course meal or I'm too afraid to look him in his eyes. Because I'm a person who thinks a lot and make up situations in my head. Where is his family? What has he gone through to get here? What is he running from? The contrasts are huge. There I was shopping loads of foods to ma and there he was just wishing for a gum, and I couldn't do it. I want to give him what he wants and needs but I'm too afraid and saved myself before him. Such a coward. Compassion doesn't matter if you don't take actions. The next time I will do what my heart thinks I should do.



finally, i made a blog. i thought i would tell you a little about myself but that's so basic. i want you to get to know me during my journey, not in one post. i wanna be a mystery. but i'll tell you one thing : with words and pictures i can create things you've never seen before. interesting, huh? don't forget me.

​clue one bout me: i love italy