This letter is to you.
I don't even know what the fuck is happening in my mind.
You know about my last crush I wrote about? Yeah I don't think that crush is still there. So I thought I had got a new crush on another guy, lets call him Leo. He is nothing like the first guy, that we can call Jake. Leo is more like a baby face kind of dude but he really cute and tall, taller then me. Were Jake is right about my height and has this more bad boy look/image about him.
But yesterday I had this really weird dream. There is this guy in my class and year, he is really polite, nice and all that. With all that he is not ugly ( he obviously has a GF), he is really caring to. We can call him Ted. The dream was sett in someones house, in the living room, I can't really tell who's. And there was quite a few people there, but there wasn't a party with music ans such. It was just like a couple of friends hanging out. Me and Ted with the rest were sitting down on the couch, Ted and I sitting next to each other. There was a really nice atmosphere going on, people having nice conversations and laughing. Ted had his arm slung over the back of the couch (not around me over, but like hugging me like friends) you know? All of a sudden he leaned in to me to whisper something to me. At the same time as he start talking he holds my arms like crossed so I would not be able to really move. "I have noticed you getting a lot thinner. It is starting to get kind of dangerous. You know I workout ad I know that what you are doing is wrong. I have seen it before. This is not okay, you have to eat!" I could just feel my whole body freeze to the coldest ice on the earth. I looked up at him and all I saw was the look on his face was a mix in between really pissed off (angry) and woried. And there is were I woke up.
I have thought about what this could mean. What is my subconscious telling me? Why is it Ted that showed up in my dream? Do I have a crush on Ted? or is my mind telling me something else? In that case what the fuck is it trying to tell me?! And what is the tingling feeling I have in my belly or the confused on in my heart?
But what about Jake and Leo?
I don't understand. Can someone please help me! please I am on my knees begging.
This is serious, please answer me. Anyone out there that could help me please write back! It can be in both English or Swedish. But please help me and write back!