Introduction
One of the categories on the right says Puberty, and if you click on it, you will be abel to read and see photos of my transition --> of going into male physical puberty which will begin to alter my appearance to male. I shall take you step by step of how this works, and I am very glad you are interested in reading about.
Most transpeople and or Intersex people change their names during the beginning of the process. Since it takes six months for the process to begin from the first day you have gotten remitted to the transmedicine unit and then about a year to begin physical changes the only thing a person can do on their own during this difficult time of waiting is change their name. The name change, which is done privately (meaning it has nothing to do with your physical transition at the transmedicine unit) takes about 1-2 month to go through and it costs 1000SEK. Of course for some people it also takes time to find a name they are comfortable with, some people if named Victor becomes Victoria or the other way around, but for other people like myself they can choose a name very far away from their birth name.

How, why and when did I choose my name?

When

I changed my name to Jamie when I was 16 years old (10 years ago), not legally though. That is when I started asking people to call me Jamie which was difficult, I mean people in my surrounding did but if I went to the dentist office I was called on from the waiting room by my birth name and I hated hearing it. I didn’t change my name legally to Jamie until I was 18 years old.

Why

I changed my name to Jamie because of two reasons: one I like the idea of my first name starting with the same letter as my last name just like most of Stan Lee’s characters, especially the Superhero's in Marvel Universe. If you think about it, Peter Parker (Spiderman), Bruce Banner (The Hulk), Sue Storm (The Invisible Woman). It is silly I know but it is the truth, I am a huge geek! The second reason I choose Jamie is because it is a unisex name and I felt it fit me better than the more masculine names I thought of such James, Jackson (although my foster care brother was named Jackson so it would have been weird but I liked the name Jackson). I also thought of Joey and Jonah.
I wanted a blend-in type of name, a name you hear often like Peter, David, William only that it would start with the letter J. I didn't want to choose a flashy name that brings too much attention to it like Cosmo or Elvis or Stryker. I mean if you have got the flashy-ness in you then be my guest, it just wasn’t for me, and with all the names I considered, Jamie felt the most natural because the only other Unisex name were Jesse and Justice and it was certainly a: Hell No! 

How
In Sweden you turn to Swedish Patent and Registration Office (in Swedish: Patent och Registreringsverket) and this part is not very difficult, you get a paper, you fill it out, the paper says my name is this and I want to change it to this, you pay the fee and then get your new name which usually takes 1-2 months but sometimes less if they have less to do. The second and tricky part however is changing your name everywhere else, your ID card, your drivers licence, your bank, all of your online registers... This one is an annoying hassle! It took up too four years before my old name was erased completely. Because even though my name was legally changed and sent out, still when I arrived at any doctors office my old name was called out and I had to tell them to change it in their system, and sometimes in any online registry, once you register your name on an online shopping website such as Stadium or Sport Amore, you cannot log in and change your name by yourself, you have to contact their contact service because they wont update your new name otherwise. So I am very very very glad I changed my name long ago, because now that I am going through the other difficult parts of transitioning the name change is long behind me. NOTE: I am still in the Real-Life-Experience which both transpeople and Intersex people sometimes have to go through. I will write about Real-Life-Experience in a later entry.

Meaning and Origin
I never really looked up the meaning of the name Jamie when I changed it, I just liked it fit me, but apparently it means: Supplanter often refers to governments and rulers of countries, and it comes from the verb supplant, which evolved from the Latin supplantare, meaning "to trip up or to overthrow." Considering how my long dream is to become a Criminologist, the meaning of the name sort of suits me. It is a British name and derived from Jacob and James. It has existed since the late 16th century only for males, since the 19th century it has also been used for females.

Middle Name? 
I never wanted a middle name, my name is simple and I like it Jamie Jaxtér, I sound like an actor or the CEO of some company. It is smooth and simple however recently my biological mother said I robbed her from the chance of naming her son so I felt guilty and I told her she could choose a middle name for me and these are the suggestions she has come up with...
Killian, Aydian, Lucas, Pierre or Jean-Pierre.. As if she could come up with names more French sounding.

Then my grandmother (on fathers side) wanted in on naming me and came up with Brazilian names of course --> Carlitos, Tiago, João, VIncius and Alanyo... So... say I choose the one name each of them really really really wanted my name would become Jamie Killian Carlitos Jaxtér..

I can’t stop laughing… I would sound like a cartoon character! 😂

Thanks for reading! 

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Me and a friend of mine had decided to go to a an open free lecture given by Stockholm University at Stockholm Public Library. At first I was on campus studying and due to **my flamboyant personality** I ended up asking random people which I was acquainted with, and happened to meet on campus during the day if they wanted to join us and somehow we ended up being a gathering of four.

Seeing how I like books and knowledge, I had to take many photographs of books of course.. The lecture was unbelievably interesting, it was about Populism and I learned a lot, a lot I can also contribute to what I study even though I do not study politics per say... And... a lot of people came for the lecture and we ended up not getting any seats so we sat on the floor. --> It was worth it!

On this particular day (Feb 2nd) I had a seminar at 12:45 and I was supposed to take the train 10:40, however the train was 2h and 40min late because there had been an accident no one could have accounted for, I just hope that nobody got injured or anything like that.

Commuting! - Pro’s & Con’s

Let’s start with the biggest con.. For one, the other smaller cons such as sitting next to a crying baby or a sweaty alcoholic (smelly) man or sometimes not getting a seat is in my option just useless whining. It is life, there are many of us, there are many people and we just have to co-exist together so while I believe they can be discussed, I can live with them. However it is frustrating when the train is delayed.

When the weather is shit, when it is snowing or pouring rain, just expect the train to be more than an hour late! Than you, yourself will be late to studies or work or whatever it is your are commuting to, but also remind yourself that, it is equivalent to taking your own car to work and being delayed because of car-traffic, it is not within your control!

You are just going to be late and there is nothing you can do about it but make up for it. Of course if you had it closer to Campus/Work or other, the odds of being late are fewer. I for example take the bus to Västerås Central, train to Stockholm Central and then the Subway to University, which means, if one is late all the following timetables will mess with my life big time.

Sometimes the train is late because the train conductor was late to work, and that also happens...

What to do about it?
I myself counter these possible delays with always being at University earlier, an entire hour or more pending on the trains. For one, I study on the strain, I study before the lecture or seminar and then all that time isin’t in vain.


The biggest pro..
Is that I can study on my way to University, I get a lot done in that one hour on the train. I guess another pro would be is that my mental capacity is in tact considering I don't have to focus on traffic if I had commuted with a car.

Another pro would be the interesting people you meet on the train, I have met everything from backpackers to other students commuting from either Enköping or Västerås to Stockholm, I have met an ambitious professional cellist, three retired men who just like me cannot take life very seriously. xD Those three where hilarious men, I had a great time talking to them, mostly because they were just so relaxed about life, just like me, we had hobbies in common and philosophically discussed crime prevention at length. Of course I never find anything in common with guys my own age, however, 60+ men and I get along like that (snapping my fingers), haha I don't know what it is but I enjoy meeting people, talking to people, learning about their life stories, telling them about mine and most importantly sharing a laugh, spreading joy. I am certainly a people person!!! 😃 Unfortunately, unlike most of my fellow age-group surrounding. Most my age are stressed, anxious, lazy and do not seem very open to getting to know new people, and I honestly do not know if that is just me or it is a general occurrence among young people. Either way, it saddens me a bit. 

My point of view on commuting: I don’t believe commuting such distances with so many frustrating delays and sitting next to fumbling toddlers works for impatient or stressed out people. It is important to practice one’s patience, learn how to be calm and let things go. Just let it go! It is difficult though, and sometimes I arrive at school and when having to talk to people, I am fumbling with things or I am distracted, and it is because I am stressed and I cannot help it. I do however believe that commuting is an experience that is helping me grow as a person. I am commuting for a goal, I am exercising my tolerance, my patience, my discipline to keep up with and actually going to lectures and seminars when I know I have such distance to plan ahead for.

Thanks For Reading

// JJ


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Due to a persistent shoulder injury since Mars 2016 I haven’t been regularly active, also I get unbelievably depressed around the holidays (as you might have read in earlier post) I haven't been active at all lately, and it saddens me to say that it has taken a toll on my active-lifestyle. I have gained weight not to mention lost some muscle tone. Luckily.. I still have my abs in tact but I can see them slowly disappearing. Muscles have a tendency to atrophy quickly if you do not keep training and nurturing them. Kind of like babies! xD So I am trying to instead look forward to my gender crisis finally taking a turn in the right direction and I am certainly back on track, not to mention I don’t think many want to hire an over-weight Personal Trainer, it is vital that I maintain my appearance. Not that there is anything wrong with being overweight if the person themselves are happy with it!

I am going to be clean-eating for eight weeks, no cheating meals! I have set up a goal for myself and when I hit my goal I will have a cheat meal every week (probably starting with either pizza or sushi)... Just like I used to eat and train before when I was at the top of my game. So lot's of smoothies, veggies and protein. Bring It On!

Alright, until next time mate!

Thanks for reading!

Have A Good One!

/Jamie

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Gender Studies
Even though I am going to miss learning about the different cultures of the people in Papa New Guinea… listning and analysing hiphop music during lectures is surely not what I was expecting.
However right from the start it feels a much closer subject to my main subject than Anthropology, specially because of the fact that there is an entire course about crime against women, which I wont be studying during this term, but it exists as part of gender studies. Even though Anthropology was certainly an interesting time and I treasure the knowledge and experience it has given me, not to mention the wonderful people I met.

Missing travels..
With all this sedentary student-life comes the longing for travels, I miss traveling and correcting people about the fact that there are no polar bears in Sweden! Seriously some people believe that there are polar bears roaming the streets of Swedish cities lol... I miss meeting new people from all over the world, and learning all about their adventures. However reading about feminism and queer theory while drinking my favourite coffee isin’t all that bad either. One of the first things I learned which I surprisingly did not know is that females in Sweden, first got the right’s to vote in 1921 which means it haven’t even been 100 years yet... Somehow it seems disturbing to consider we haven’t made it further than that, for example equal pay. Even though Sweden have one of the least differences in pay between the genders, males still earn more. A change need to be made! I work for and believe in the future!


Student Life is about Saving Money!
Despite missing the Nomadic life I once lived, 2017 seems to be starting out great so far, and I hope it continues!

The total cost of literature for this term was half of what I paid for a four week course last term however this course is an eight week course so there is some money left over to buy some new strings for my guitar. 😃
Also very happy about the fact that I only have to be on campus twice a week, specially because of the fact that I commute to Stockholm University.

THUMBS UP (ALMOST) GREAT NEWS!
The greatest news is however that I am definitely hitting puberty this year or as it is called transformative-puberty, it still might be a while because everything must run it's natural course. I definitely look forward to not being stuck in an inter-depression-state so yeah GREAT NEWS! 😃

Thanks for reading!

/ JJ

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At least this year I actually took it upon myself to christmas decorate my apartment. However considering how all alone I am, it kind of looks sad and pathetic even though the idea was to cheer myself up. Unfortunately I am usually very sad around the holidays, not having a family to celebrate with and all, but I have made it for 25 years so I guess I am stronger than I thought..

Volunteer Work

I will not be sulking during the entire holiday, for the 3rd year in a row now, I will be doing volunteer work, just because I am down on life it doesn’t mean I cannot help people in third world countries get some food and medicine to them. and so, 24-26th of Dec, I will be in Stockholm doing that and then the aim is to try and keep my mind off of things by keeping myself as busy as possible, so music, video games, reading something and catching up on lots and lots of Netflix not to mention bulking some at the gym. --> I wish my friends were here so I can hang with them but they are half away across the country or on the other side of the Atlantic. ....sometimes I wish they didn’t move but at the same time I am so proud of them for being ambitious and following up with their dreams!

The Sequel to The Last of Us...

.... Is promised to come out 2017 so at least I have something to look forward to next year! Not to mention, hopefully this is the year I finally hit puberty. lol

Winter in Sweden

It was 6 degrees celsius today in Västerås so it doesn’t look like it is going to snow on Christmas Eve.. Luckily we have managed to have a few snow days this December and I am quiet certain that sometime in January-Mars cold air will appear. The cold I am not very fond of however for me, it can snow a bit more.. Please! 

These photo’s where taken in Västerås with my iPhone and even with the low quality you can see how amazing it looks. Contrary to everyone in my surrounding complaining about snow, I love it, at least when it looks like this and you can make snow balls out of it. I can understand the complains about slippery ground and then when the temperature goes above zero celsius, snow and ice transforms to a gnarly and troublesome sludgy substance.. so in short words winter might be beautiful in Sweden but not for it’s entire period. As far as these photo’s go I am very happy to be living in a country where it snows!

Help me take care of the environment in order for some of us to be abel to continue enjoying snow. *_* : P

Happy Holidays!

/ JJ

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The absolute first thing I did at the convention as ManOfSteel, was sit on the Ironthrone of course! All though it looked really funny when Clark Kent claimed the throne. 😂

This was my first time at Kistamässan I can only compare it to last year where it was held at FriendsArena. According to my friend who has been to all Comic Con's held in Sweden, from the very beginning in 2014. According to her, she preferred the one that was held in Solna at FriendsArena 2015. I don't know what she had experienced the first time but it wasn't all that crowded during the time we were there today, so for me that part was fine. However FriendsArena had much more space to offer and somehow the event felt more comfortable to roam about.

Besides games Call of Duty Infinite Warfare, Titanfalls 2, and old Games like Super Mario on Nintendo 64 you could also sign up and try the latest Virtual Reality Games !!! I am not going to talk much about the cool games you can try out but more about arriving there on Friday, (the first day) because on Saturday basically all the cool collectibles were sold out. Seriously everything I wanted to buy was sold out... 😢

Meeting Batman was a pleasure but then I walked into some Superman-Poser, and it was like "who the fuck is this guy?" and "why the fuck is he taller than me?" 😝

All jokes aside though it was a really fun experience yet again. You get to meet magnificent artist's and their passion for creating art. Such as these crafts of video-game characters from Tomb Raider you see above. Absolutely mind blowing to think a person made them, not a 3D printer or a machine but --> Hand-Made collectibles you can buy, as in OneOfAKind! There were other artists too such as drawing, sewing and make-up among others.. Not to mention celebrities such as Jason Isaacs mostly known for his role as Lucius Malfoy from Harry Potter, Ricky Whittle known as Lincoln from The 100 and Mehcad Brooks from Supergirl among other's where there signing autographs.

Oh and I was also attacked by a Zombie... Don't worry, I didn't get bitten!
Her make-up though, my god it was Amazing!

I know... most of the photo's are of me because apparently I am so photo-genetic. 😌 But I did manage to get one of my friend holding a book of Who-oology of course and some tragic event-photo's, I call them tragic because they where taken with my iPhone and I really really want to buy a really good camera to document my adventures like a true explorer, but all in good times mate.

Thanks for reading!

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Situated in The Capital of Scandinavia, Stockholm Of Course! Now I myself I am not particularly into shopping, when I actually need new clothes then I become in the mood for shopping. Mostly because I see no reason in buying more clothes than I actually need, I am a guy of convenience! However I did need a jacket so when my friend really wanted to go I thought it would be a fun idea, both to look for a warm jacket and make an interesting blogpost.

The Mall itself is quite big but not as big as I would have thought. A mall in Västerås (smaller city in Sweden) is about the same size. It is quite fancy though for a regular mall. The interior design and hardware floors. It is three floors but the third floor is mainly entertainment, so basically two floors of shopping. Most of the stores in MOS are stores you can pretty much find in the rest of Stockholm or any other big city in Sweden like Jack & Jones, H&M and Stadium etc.. There isin't anything particularly special about the mall save for the fact that if you are a shopping-enthusiast it might be easier to have several stores all in one place.

The only special store I found in MOS that I actually do not know if it exists somewhere else in Stockholm, maybe it does but either way Disney Store is a -->must stop by if you are in MOS. Just say'n!

This is the Jacket that hopefully will keep me warm all winter, it looks light but it is not and either way I know thanks to the Military that one should lawyer to remain warm in the winter. However if it is get's really really cold I might have to take out my parka jacket and I'd rather not, it is so big and I feel like I am twice my size in it and everyone have to make room for me to get through. 😝

​We had a nice burger at some place, I think it was named Egon. I am not a 100% sure though. Anyway it was a good burger, next time I might choose Vargårda however. Later when we had walked all over the place we decided to have a fika or a Frozen Yoghurt. Now as far as sugar goes I rarely consume it but I like it, either way, I have a problem with milk products and it sucks because this thing was DELICIOUS I tell you and I got sick after eating it. 😥 I keep trying what I can and cannot eat and as far as dairy goes and it seems that if it is cold like milk, cream, yoghurt, cheesecake, ice cream etc.. than I cannot eat it, but if it is heated up in the oven or like a latte it is perfectly acceptable for tummy. I hate this! I really hate this condition, basically everything that taste's good has dairy in it! So yes this tasty yoghurt really wasn't worth feeling unwell for the rest of the evening but now I know I wont be consuming that ever again. / Some cries but I will live! Haha..

Thanks for reading! 
Have A Nice Day! 

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It is funny how at some point in life I couldn't even imagine myself being fit, just as at some point in my life I couldn't imagine myself studying further than high school. Now working out is sort of apart of my life. Working out, for me has become a core for my well being it helps a lot with my gender-crisis as well (which is moving forward btw, yay!). I realise I have more energy than before and not to mention I can eat more haha. 

Working out helps me study better, it raises my concentration levels. The two subject's I am studying are very interesting and the more I learn, the more I get into them and the more relaxed I become about exams. Key point is actually learning how "I learn" and that I actually learn very differently from other's, but I have taken in a few tips and ideas from other fellow students, for example "how to take notes" and how to be more organised about the core important knowledge. I also think that the fact that I like reading, and absorbing new knowledge is an aid for me to succeed at exams. Studying at university is not only a challenge for me but also a great new experience and I cannot wait to experience more of it, and get the competence I need to do what I aim to do in life, and keep learning of course for I will never be done. 

Note on working out: Either way my future travel plans serves me well to stay fit, I have a lot of exploring left to do! 

Thank you for reading!
Have a great day!

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I managed to forget to take a photo of the hotel itself but it is located in Gamla Stan (Old Town) at adress Skeppsbron 22. Lucky for us, it is above a party floor but it was sound proof according to the staff however no parties where going on so I cannot give a reference on that. This is where we over-stayed for Pride. 

The hotel didin't exactly have a nice view, so if that is what you are looking for than don't hold your breath! However it was a great hotel for those only looking to take a shower and sleep, the beds are not that bad, the rooms and bathrooms are fresh and clean, it is an old building that gives off an antique atmosphere, they provide clean sheets and towels, good service and friendly staff. Not to mention we arrived there earlier than they expected us too so they gave us a different available room which had four twin-beds instead of two which was our original booking. Free Wi-Fi, and the booking includes a wholesome fresh breakfast between 8-11. I guess the only complaint I would make is that the windows are not very sound proof to traffic. But all in ALL the Hotel get's a very good recommendation from me specially for the fact that we only paid 439SEK/person per night.

Yeah me and my friend are a happy bunch! One thing I forgot to mention about the City during Pride or Pride City is that companies hand out so many free things, we got free Cold Vegan Coffee Drinks (the one in the photo), juice boxes, toothpaste, fannypack, metals that we could carve in our names on, condoms, lubricant, coffee, bracelets, small pride flags, popcorn, lollipops and the list is quite long but our bags started to get so full that we actually had to start saying "no thank you, our bags are full!" lol

During our stay we also spontaneously went and saw the movie The Legend of Tarzan in theatre. In Stockholm's Sf Bio they sold Cheddar flavoured popcorn which were AWESOME and I wish they sold them here in Västerås. The movie was worth watching and it was a great idea because our feet were really sore from walking so much all over Stockholm City.

And of course I said hello to my buddy Nemo and his dad Marlin while at it! They where off looking for Dory who apparently was lost at sea. xD

Have a great day!

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​Some people were lucky, they could watch the parade dance from their balconies live! 

Stockholm Pride Parade was new to both of us, so we just squeezed ourselves into the crowd and thought if we were asked to move back we would. We stood between group Numbers 20-21 but somehow later needed up walking ahead to 15 or something. (The guy with the hat in the first photo looks a little like Stan Lee) lol

Hosting the pride parade in the capital of Scandinavia I thought somehow it would be bigger regardless of the fact that it was actually huge and attracts over half a million people every year (~45-50k to the parade) and growing. Somehow I thought the hoopla would be more extreme but mostly it was drunk people dancing and expressing themselves freely which all in itself one cannot complain about in anyway because after all that is what Pride is all about; care, happiness and the freedom to be oneself! So in a small summary I had a great time and it is definitely a recommended pride to attend, the only thing I would do differently the second time I (hopefully) attend Pride is too find out more about timing because like I said we arrived in Pride Park the 29th of July 2016 and it was desserted of people.

Unluckily it started to rain towards the end of the Parade, I always bring an umbrella with me anywhere I go, I live in Sweden so it is a good idea to always be prepared but my friend had to buy a rain-repellant poncho but it did not matter we got wet anyway. The funny part is that we were so hungry after dancing in the parade that we had ourselves burger's while it rained, and since the food stands did not provide shelter for the sitting areas I literarily sat and ate with one hand while I held the umbrella in the other hand, and my friend sat in her poncho. 

The Pride Parade evening was enclosed with non other than Ruby Rose, and to be honest I had never heard of her until I watched Orange is the New Black and let's just say that as a musician myself she makes a way better actress than DJ. I still do not understand what the hoopla was all about, she looks good but not THAT good and for some unknown reason she was very popular because she attracted a huge crowd. Whatever the crowd was there for, it wasn't her talent because DJ-wise I wouldn't say she has much talent and it is quite tragic because being a DJ is not that difficult. lol I am assuming she doesn't need to be good as long as the crowd adores her she will just keeping trying to entertain. The party itself though was amazing, I don't think I have danced that much in a while. I don't think I have danced with that many strangers all in one night either. The final part get's applauds and stars and rainbows too, because it was a magnificent way to end it all!

Pride 30th of July, 2016

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