Some mothers sacrifice their career to take care of their kids and to keep the house clean. They usually can’t earn money, while some don't have a chance to have a job before their children were born. In some cases, mothers eventually need to go through a divorce. It is normal to have anxiety, however, with proper preparation and assistance, they can get through it and turn it into a positive change in their lives.
Here are someadvice for stay home mom facing divorce:
  • Prepare a budget - You will now be having split households, which means you are the one responsible for the bills. You might not afford your current house mortgage. You need to be familiar with your current financial situation to be able to stay financially solvent even after the divorce.
  • Search for employment - It might be hard especially if you have multiple children. It is where you need to ask for support from your family, friends, or daycare. It can also be challenging if you have been out of a job for a lengthy period. You might need to get any job even it is not related to your education, but if you start early, you can eventually find a better job.
  • Educate yourself in divorce - During the divorce proceeding you can ask for child support but you might or might not get alimony support if you are a stay at home mom. It depends on the ability of your spouse to pay for it and your actual need for this payments. It can also be temporary or on a permanent basis depending on the circumstances involved. It is also important to educate yourself about stay at home mom divorce rights so you can know what you should ask and expect to your divorce agreement.
  • List down all your assets, liabilities - list your taxes, retirement plans, and all other records that have a connection to your marriage. Keep in mind that this would not only help you, but your kids as well to start again once the divorce has been finalized.

Do not talk bad about your soon-to-be-ex-spouse - always remember to put your kid’s best interest in mind. Children are very fragile and vulnerable when it comes to divorce. You can explain them the reasons for your divorce but do not add any personal hatred about your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. It will at least help them a bit to go on their regular day to day life.

Hire an experienced divorce and family law attorney - as last resort to divorce is litigation, you might need to hire an attorney to fight for your and kids to get what you are entitled. As you are currently unemployed, if possible, try another alternative divorce approach, like collaborative or mediated divorce. This way you can avoid lengthy trials which could cause you more. Bear in mind that the more you fight with your spouse, the more expensive the divorce will be, and the less money you would fight.

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Shares are standard, as we have mortgages of our home, loans for our cars, and a lot of credit cards that we use to pay for our daily needs and wants. Debts seem ordinary and unimportant if you have still married life, but this could be crucial if you are in the midst of a divorce. Who would keep the bill? Do you need to pay for something you do not owe?

Debts are also calculated inequitable distribution in the case of divorce because it is also a factor in determining the real economic position of both parties. Just like assets, in the event of divorce, the court divides debts between both sides as what they think is reasonable. The debt will be treated just like any intangible property by characterizing which debt is marital and non-marital. The marital debt incurred during the marriage is an equal responsibility of both parties, if both of you and your spouse signs on the account, but if your husband opens an account that is in his name only, he or she would be the one responsible for debts incurred by it.


Types of Debt


  • Living expenses - Those debts that incurred due to primary needs like mortgage or rent, groceries, gas, utilities, and other similar expenses.
  • Community property expenses - Those debts that incurred due to luxury purchases like gym equipment, branded bags, pieces of jewelry and such things which are not so important.

Most of the time, living expenses are divided equally into both parties. However, it gets confusing if both living expenses and community property expenses are both on the same credit card. It could be more complicated if the other spouse has credit card before marriage and it already racked up massive debt before the wedding, and during the marriage, both spouses contributed much more debt to it. The court will then consider many factors, like how long the marriage lasts, spouse’s income, whether either spouse is married before which could be the cause of your spouse's debt before your wedding.

You can avoid this kind of divorce problem if you and your spouse paid your personal debts before the divorce proceeding. This way, you could also avoid longer court investigations,trials, and the increase of divorce attorney’s fee.

You could also draft a prenuptial agreement that has a bounding clause in regards with debts. Also, manage your accounts by keeping your personal accounts under your name and living expenses in a different joint account.

But if it is already too late for that and your soon-to-be ex-spouse has already burdened you with tons of debts, the last option is to declare bankruptcy. It can dismiss most of what you owe, and your spouse. However, ​this could not save you from paying child or spousal support . It is also a must if your spouse has already filed for bankruptcy as you would be left to pay for debts both of you incurred during the marriage.

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A last will is drafted for your properties and assets to be adequately distributed to your loved ones in case you pass away. Life is uncertain, and no one knows what lies ahead in the future. If you fail to make a will, the law will decide for you. This could mean hardships and added expenses for your family and some relatives may take unintended benefit on your valuables. But what happen if you decided to divorced your spouse? How will it affect your last will?

Another common event apart from death is divorce. What can be the effect of divorce on your will? Can law prevent ex-spouses collecting on an inaccurate will?

In Nebraska, if the husband and wife furnished the will during the marriage and got divorced, later on, the testament is automatically revoked in case either person passes away. The law will act as if the other spouse is also deceased. Any disposition or appointment to the former spouse will be distributed according to the alternative provisions of the will, or it will follow the “state intestacy law."


Who gets the property?


When state law voided the will due to divorce, all assets intended to be awarded to your spouse will be canceled as well, as if your spouse has died before you. If the will names an alternate beneficiary for any disposition or appointment in case your spouse dies, then that other beneficiary inherits the amount or property. It could also be a residuary beneficiary in case you do not name any alternate beneficiary. In case the will does not name any other beneficiary aside from your spouse, the state law takes over on the division of assets to your closest surviving relatives.

Only parts of the testament related to the former spouse will be voided in case of divorce before the death of the will-maker. All other parts of the testament will not be affected and remain valid.


What if the divorce is still ongoing?


While you and your spouse are still in the process of divorce, legally, you are still married. In the event of death, any expressed gift of the will to the soon-to-be-ex-spouse will still be valid. Other members of the family could contest this in case the couple has been separated for a long time before the divorce process.


What could be the best preparatory measures?


In the event of divorce, every part of your life should be well planned. This includes your will. The advisable way to make sure that your properties are transferred hassle-free is to furnish a new testament. You should include the “revocation clause” to ensure that the former will is already revoked. This way, your previous spouse could only inherit things you would allow or will not get anything at all. It is also important to review your will with a prudent attorney to make sure your estate plan is accurate under present circumstances.

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You may not have enough money but that does not mean you cannot file for divorce. Nebraska offers different divorce option including “limited scope representation”.

“Limited scope representation” is where you do not hire an attorney full time. You would be representing yourself or proceeding pro se but will be asking for an attorney’s help from time to time.

How does “limited scope representation work”?

Divorce normally takes a long process and consumes lots of money for attorney’s fee. This encourages people to present their own case to court, although it has disadvantage ​when the opposing party has an experienced divorce lawyer .

Lawyers offer “limited scope representation” wherein there is an “a la carte menu” of legal service, where you would only pick and pay the lawyer for the tasks he or she does for you. The services can be legal advice on your property, filing legal documents, or drafting what you need to demand from your spouse. You would still be doing some of the tasks like negotiating with your spouse, filing your financial records, and things you are sure you could efficiently do yourself.

There should be a written agreement signed by the client and the attorney must furnish a “limited representation” document on the court. Once the lawyer has completed his scope in “limited scope representation”, he should also furnish the “Certificate of Completion of ‘Limited Scope Representation’” on the court in the span of ten days. Copies of these two documents should be sent to the opposing lawyer, client, and the other party. From there, the attorney has no more obligation to embody the client’s interest until sought.

Benefits of “limited scope representation”

  • You limit the amount of money you need to pay the attorney by hiring him only on the most difficult parts of your case.
  • You keep control over parts of your case.

Disadvantages of “limited scope representation”

  • Failure to present required pieces of evidence, ineffective witness questioning, and failure to object correctly to the opposing party by yourself could cause your case to lose in court.
  • Opposing attorney can also communicate with your attorney as he does not have a sole agreement with you.
  • You will be the one responsible for the results of the parts you do for yourself.

“Limited scope representation” is not always advisable. The complexity of circumstances can make “limited scope representation” unwise. There may be hidden complications in your case that you are not aware of. Most legal matters are better served if the lawyer represents the client throughout the entire process.

Here are cases that are suited for “limited scope representation”:

  • There are no children and none is expected.
  • All properties can be divided without argument and debts are clearly agreed on who will pay each.
  • Neither party has a retirement plan or pension.
  • Neither party will request for alimony.

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If you are planning to file a divorce, but you or your spouse is in a different state, it may take you some time to do so. If you decided to file a divorce, you do not have to return to the state where you got married. They will not accept the divorce case that you wanted to present. Instead, they will be asking you to file a divorce in the state where you are currently staying.

Filing a divorce in a different state has its state law differences. Before you can file a divorce, you need to follow and comply with certain requirements that they possess. There is a required or particular time of residency. Legal documents, billing records or ID’s like voter’s ID, driver’s license, or a copy of your lease will help you prove how long your residency in that state is.

Recognition of divorce order to another state

Once the court has granted the petition that you have filed, then the other states will do. It is just like for example, you have a driver’s license, and you can use it for driving going to another state. Make sure that you had properly filed and served your original petition to your spouse, or else the state will not be recognizing your court order and will refuse the child custody or any agreement that is supposed to be done.

Changes in divorce agreement

When it comes to changes in a divorce agreement, your ex-spouse must agree and should be adequately informed about the proceedings or terms that are going to happen in your divorce agreement. The state where you are currently staying is willing to do the prosecution. But once your ex-spouse does not agree to the new terms and conditions that the new state is regulating, you will need to return to the state where you formally filed the case. Requesting for changes in a divorce decree will be done by the issuing court only.

In filing the case while in a different state, you should know about the authorized court to file the divorce petition.

How to determine the proper state court for your divorce case

  • Divorce the spouse who left the state - Check whether the court has the jurisdiction over your concern.
  • Subject matter jurisdiction - This means that the state law regulating the case will determine whether the tribunal in the state has the jurisdiction over the matter.
  • Personal jurisdiction - This is quite difficult to process. In process jurisdiction, the state must give a certain order over the husband, wife, and children. For example, just like what is written above, each resident must have the proof of being a resident in that state for a particular time depending on the statutes of the state.

Filing a divorce is indeed a tough decision. Understanding and undergoing in every single law of the state must be done accordingly. You should inform your spouse of any change in the proceedings once you file the appeal to prevent any problem it may cause.

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