Why Falling In Love Is SO DAMN HARD For Strong Women – by Deric Lewis

I am a man, so this article was difficult to write. I’m also a journalist, so I don’t have much say in the assignments that are given to me to write about. My editors want results, not excuses. I confess, a woman’s mind is largely a mystery to me at times, just as it is for most other men too. It took a lot of question asking, and listening to a couple passionate rants from a few of my close female friends in order to accomplish the herculean task of writing an article geared toward women, while being a man. So, please forgive me if I’m clumsy or misconstrue any ideas.

Being a strong, independent woman comes with many challenges, and finding love seems to top that list for most. Typically, strong women possess Type A personalities and go-getter attitudes are often misconstrued by society, and strong women are sometimes seen as arrogant monsters destined for the life of a spinster. But strong women are capable of deep and lasting love, and they want it too. They simply are not willing to settle for anything less than their ideal, however.

Here are a few reasons strong women have a hard time with romantic relationships from the perspective of my female friends as they provided them.


It would make life easier be if strong women were the type to smile, nod, and agree with everything the men they’re interested in say, but that’s just not who they are, and they know it. When a strong, independent woman is on a date and they disagree with something, they have no issues speaking their minds. Unfortunately for their dates, it tends to come across as combative, but really, their completely OK with not seeing eye to eye on things. In fact, strong women actually welcome and appreciate a difference of opinions. They like to be challenged intellectually.


Strong and successful women have an agenda, they know where they want to go in life. They always strive to be the best at what they apply themselves to, no matter what. Sometimes strong women meet men who feel like they need to be superior. It becomes a game of one ups. If a woman is more successful in her life’s ambitions, this tends to turn many men off and makes them run the other way. Independent, strong women know men like to feel like the providers in life, but they beg to please get on board with the times. Rather than providing financial, or emotional security, strong women want a partnership of equality. Women are killing it now and the dating world needs to catch up.


This is probably the most common complaint of my female friends. The way I understand it is, they would like someone to look at them and make the same effort they’re willing to make for love to become a reality in their lives. Strong women are not “too challenging,” it’s just that even if they want love in their lives, they’re not going to make it the be-all, end-all meaning of their existence. Love is a bonus, a want, not an all consuming need. They’ve got their own goals, ambitions, and dreams going on. Strong women want someone to be a part of it, but only part, not all. They may be a different breed, but they’re still capable of being great partners.


Strong, independent women tend to lead busy, hectic schedules. Many men see it as playing hard to get, or they come off as a woman who will never truly have the time to fit a man into her world. This is entirely inaccurate — it’s just that things with this type of woman won’t unfold as quickly. It’ll take some time to get to know them and take down their strong and sturdy walls. Strong women can be pretty cautious in life on all fronts, which is why they have become the strong women they are in the first place.

So, the main theme that I noticed that runs through each point I was provided, is that strong women simply aren’t willing to sacrifice their values, or lower their standards. They know what they want, and if they can’t find it in a partner. Its really not a big deal. They also want a strong, confident man. They don’t do well with dependency. They want a partner who is secure in themselves, and who have their own dreams and ambitions, along with a willingness to go out and get them. Shouldn’t that be the standard we all strive for in our relationships, both men and women?