I know I haven't posted in quite some time. I've been busy and also not so busy. I've worked for about six weeks now and it seems the school will most likely be closing by the end of August which means I will have to figure something out after that. I bascially found out on my first day and I was wondering where the hidden cameras where. I was called in to a big meeting within 2 hours of having arrived for my first day. So that sucked, but I still feel like it's been worth the wait because I really like my job. But of course, this has filled me with doubt in some ways. I've thought about moving after the college closes. Other life changing kind of decisions have followed with this so I've been kinda neurotic lately. But I know what I'm like when things like these happen. It's like all of my insecurities and issues are displayed as glass figurines on a shelf. Anything that makes the shelf wobble could make everything break.
So I'm starting with thinking about what I don't want just to narrow it down. I don't want to go back to Sweden. I don't want to stay in Oxford at this point. I feel like too many things have been unstable and the sollutions have been temporary at best. Not just my work situation. I think I've been underestimating how much things like that bothered me. Having people walking in and out of your life and moving from place to place. I'm sensitive like that. I think it would do me good to get new impressions and go somewhere else. So at the moment I am brainstorming and suggestions like Canada and New Zealand are the most frequent ideas that come to me. Bring me crazy suggestions if you think of anything :)
I'm not sure it makes sence complaining about things being unstable and uncertain and then suggesting to move. But somehow it makes sence to me that letting go is an opportunity to start over fresh and learn from experiences. And then there's this whole restlessness inside me that keeps telling me I need to live a full life and do everything (before I'm too old). Like a lame version of Forrest Gump :)
Thanks for reading.